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Megan was different. I was her life. There was no other. She was just as content to spend the evening curled up on the sofa, her head in my lap, or cuddling on the couch, or just sitting there looking into my eyes, as she was doing anything else. In a way, it scared me. To be the recipient of that much love, that much devotion, was a huge responsibility. With that type of love, it was not possible for me to even contemplate doing anything that would ever hurt her, or make her disappointed in me.I was not under any illusions that all of this was due to me, at least, not the 'me' that I could see and was most familiar with. With my memory restored from the last cycle, I knew that the 'man in white', the 'me' of the future before the cycles had begun, was merged into me, at least in my mind. I didn't know yet what all that meant. I assumed that was the 'white light' that I 'felt' at certain times when things happened. I assumed it was also behind the wall of white energy that that. There's just a human beingin fucking pain." James thought to herself as she changed the pad inher underwear. The blood had stopped flowing as much, since it was nowthree days since the pad shopping trip. Being on the rag was notsomething James had enjoyed, since it felt like she was wearingdiapers. However, despite her mother's suggestion that a tampon mightfeel better, she was opposed to the idea. The idea of anything insideher was abhorrent. Finishing up in the bathroom, James washed her hands and walkedout to the main room. Anne was there, packing a few last items into asmall black purse that was totally different from the standard one thatshe usually carried. She was dressed to go out, in a long green dressthat was perfectly coordinated with the light sweater that she woreover it. James recalled that it was her mother and Randall's anniversarytonight. They had gone out every year on this date for the last fouryears. She was surprised however, to note that Randall was nowhere tobe.
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